


Nothing

by orphan_account



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Gay, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2019-01-07 22:56:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12242250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account





	Nothing

[CI]Charles' POV

I lay on the bed, my head sinking into the maroon velvety layer on the surface. My tears dropped into them, falling from my eyes slowly to the side of my cheeks and down onto the covers. The raven hair of my undercut was stuck to my sweating forehead as I just lay there, regret overwhelming, the fear and anger at myself destroying the realisation that I did it. We did it. I should be happy! .... We should be happy! I should be happy but I'm scared to death. I'm scared of the consequences of our actions, what everyone would say if they found out about what I did. Most of all, I'm scared of him.

The fire in the corner of the room licked at the air around it, happily burning by itself, the smoke trailing out onto the balcony and into the dark night sky. There was a cold night breeze out tonight and I was shivering underneath the velvet blankets and the silk kimono that Aaron had kindly bought me for my last birthday. I sniffed as I thought of Aaron. I love him so much that I could cry , but that wasn't the only reason why my face was so blotchy and those goddamn tears kept falling down my burning hot face. I breathed slowly, the air entering , circulating inside me and the carbon dioxide flowing straight out again. 

There was a chime from the door and I knew who it was. I knew straight away why they had come and I was nervous; I was scared. My heart was thumping inside my chest so loudly that I was sure that I could here an echo somewhere inside me. I slid off the bed, grabbing the thin silk wraps from the kimono and tying them tighter around my waist, slowly walking to the door as I did so. Before I got there, if opened , and Aaron, beautiful and breath-taking as always , strolled in and met my gaze immediately.

"Hey babe" He chuckled , walking towards me. I hesitated before heading over to the table where wine and grapes had been placed. I nodded slowly, taking a red grape and pushing it into my mouth, the sweet , succulent juices mixed with the sour tang of the fruit leaked onto my tongue and teeth. I swallowed and didn't look at him. I felt him shift behind me and I was scared. I turned and looked at him through the corner of my eyes. But it wasn't Aaron that I saw; it was Samuel. 

Aaron wrapped his arms around me tightly, pulling me closer so that I could feel his hot breath on my forehead, his eyes burning through my eyelids into my own eyes. 

"I love you, you know " Aaron hummed and I put on a smile and nodded slowly. No, no, this was wrong... but it felt so.... so right ...

"I miss Samuel" I sighed, looking down at the floor and then up into the devils eyes itself

"But you have me now right!" Aaron leaned closer and kissed my forehead. I was meant to feel happy, satisfied that I finally was with the one person that I love the most. But I felt guilt, regret, and most of all, fury. I felt the water well up again in my eyes.

"I-It wasn't right Aaron! It kills me to know that I did that! You don't know how guilty I feel , because you seem to have no goddamn emotions!" I yelled, breaking down in his arms

"Charles Lee, I love you more than you could I ever know! I give you so much, and I get... this?" Aaron hissed angrily and I broke away from his grasp. 

"I know ! I know! I-I know you love me! I love y-you too!" I sobbed "I took someone's life, Aaron!" 

"You killed Samuel out of love for me! If I can't have you, no one can!" Aaron whispered

I breathed out, my eyes darting around my surroundings but not into my lovers blood shot eyes.

"Aaron , please-" 

"You killed him because you love me! That was the one thing that you needed to do to show that you really love me and it's not another of your façades!" He screamed

I steadied myself on the table as he walked closer to me "Don't you dare touch me-"

Aaron smirked "You're so fragile...." He gently pinched at my skin under the skin "You're so delicate " He whispered in my ear "You're mine, Mr Lee" He giggled, biting gently on my skin. I snapped, pushing him away with a glass of wine in his hand.

Aaron's cheeks were flustered and there was a pink tinge to them but I kept my eyes on him, knowing that the alcohol wasn't just having an effect on him.

"Charlie-"

"Don't ' Charlie ' me," I hissed

" I can call you whatever the hell I want" Aaron spat

I breathed out, not arguing with him anymore 

" You know what?-" I started

"What?" He spat the 't' with such a dialect that I knew that he was angry with me now. I glared at the taller man, blood draining from my face

"I can't bring myself to hate you" I said, pausing "But I hate that I love you!"

A glass smashed onto the floor and I whimpered, my breathing faltering a little in its pattern

" You love Samuel don't you, you goddamn slut?" He hissed

I widened my eyes in fury , moving my hand down to the kimono pocket . I felt the trigger under the pad of my cold finger and I lifted it out my pocket, glaring at the man I loved most.

"No Aaron, I love you. I love you more than you could ever know" I hissed , pointing the gun at his face

His face turned into a cheerful smile "You're kidding , right?!" 

I shook my head and braced myself in silence, my head spinning and my emotions stabbing my mind, my decisions. I couldn't decide in the moment whether I wanted him dead or alive. 

The shot chose for me, and I watched as a choking Aaron Burr felt to the floor, hands grasping his neck where the red fluids had seeped through his fingers and now stained his skin and his clothes and now the floorboards. 

I had another persons blood on my hands.

I loved him . I love Aaron more than he could ever know and I wanted a relationship. But I was a coward, I was scared, scared of everything. 

I felt to the floor a couple seconds later, falling the same as my boyfriend had done a couple seconds before and my ex-boyfriend, a couple of weeks ago in the same apartment, where I'd shot him to be with someone who I loved, but who scared me to death with his love.

I lay on Aaron's chest, my eyes wide as my hand weakly lingered in his blood. I felt another tear fall down my face and drip into the blood beneath my fingertips before I began to see nothing. My eyes were wide open but I could see nothing, hear nothing, feel nothing.


End file.
